Sunday, April 20, 2008

40 Days in the Wilderness

Yesterday I picked up my wife, Ma'ikwe, at the La Plata train station. Outbound from Albuquerque, she'll be in northeast Missouri for two weeks, to participate in the first Dancing Rabbit visitor period of the 08 season. In addition to her enthusiasm for the upcoming visit to her prospective cmty, her arrival was noteworthy because it marked the first time we'd seen each other since March 10—a (nearly interminable) stretch of 40 days and 40 nights.

While some subscribe to the theory that distance makes the heart grow fonder, mostly Ma'ikwe and I experience separations beyond two weeks with crankiness (for a fortnight we can more or less happily occupy ourselves with the myriad other portions of the full lives we already had before we got together). We hope to avoid doing 40 days in the Wilderness of Spousal Separation again. No fun.

Agonizingly, we only have about 55 hours together before she needs to head over to DR and I race around to wrap up loose ends at home before a 15-day road trip to North Carolina. Then it's another month apart before Ma'ikwe and I rendezvous next (in Albuquerque, just ahead of the FIC's Art of Community Southwest weekend that Ma'ikwe is coordinating May 30-June 1). These precious hours are an oasis in a desert of deprivation. Luckily, after we reconvene in late May, time apart will be more the exception than the rule—that I'm very much looking forward to.

When Ma'ikwe finally settles in as my neighbor (perhaps in July), we'll need to work out our routines of involvement in our home cmties interwoven with our lives as a couple. While it's not yet obvious how that will play out so that no one will feel short-changed, we're eager for that challenge to replace the one we're in now—trying to maintain regular contact while living in different time zones. Compared with what we've weathered so far, having Ma'ikwe just three miles away looks might good.

It happens that today is also the one-year anniversary of our wedding. Despite all the crazy logistics, it's wonderful to be together on this propitious day, and to celebrate that we're still very happy to have made the commitment we did last year. In the end, there's no substitute for having a partner you're totally into and who's totally into you. I'm a lucky guy.

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